Mini Story 1: Karen and Rachel
Pumpkin spice candles and yard sale drama...
Shop with butter bread and two women, illustration from Tacuinum sanitatis
Eala everyone!
I’m so sorry for my recent absence, I’ve been traveling for the past few weeks. I have something a little different today that I’m probably a little too proud of! Did I sit down this morning to work more on my next Wæstm post? Yes. Did I end up writing an unhinged dialogue about shoppers at a yard sale? Also yes! I debated about posting this type of just-for-fun content on an academic space, but in the end I decided that in keeping with my overall goal to broaden and modernize this area of study, it was worth putting it out there. As you can probably tell I had great time with this, and I hope you enjoy!
(Early spring, in a suburban neighbourhood, KAREN, leader of garden club, who is selling homemade pumpkin spice candles at a wooden stand, and RACHEL, a member of garden club and an aggressively passionate yard-sale devotee happen upon each other at a yard sale)
Karen: Hello, my friend!
Karen: Eala, min freond!
Rachel: Hello, Karen! How are you enjoying this yard sale?
Rachel: Eala, Cæren! Hu bist þu gebrucende þam cwice-ceap-stowes?
Karen: I am happy, because I sold four pumpkin spice candles for two shekels!
Karen: Ic beo dreamlic, for þam Ic becype feower heard-wæstm-alewe candela at twa entsa!
Rachel: What a rich price! I don’t have two shekels and I want to have a pumpkin spice candle!
Rachel: Hwæt an æhtspedig eahtung! Ic nabbe twa entsa ond Ic wille to habban an heard-wæstm-alewe candele!
Karen: (angry) Rachel, I am selling at a very good price!
Karen: (angmod) Rachel, Ic beo becypende at an for-wel godum eahtunge!
Rachel: I want to pay one shekel and you give me two pumpkin spice candles!
Rachel: Ic wille agildan an ense and þu gifst me twa heard-wæstm-alewe candela!
Karen: As if!
Karen: efen gif!
Rachel: I am calling your manager!
Rachel: Ic beo langiende þin dihtere!
Karen: You will never be invited to garden club again!
Karen: Þu næfre in-laðien to gewyrtun-gylde agen!
Rachel: (Gasp) You would never!
Rachel: Þu næfre!
Karen: Watch me!
Karen: Seo me!
(A fight)
(An niþplega)
😋
That’s all! And I promise more Wæstm will be up as soon as possible. Have a great weekend!